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Its better to keep it amicable and I wouldn't worry so much about the time as when you go through the resolution centre they take days to toggle through each stage. I would send the guy a message [through the eBay system] ask him to confirm that he doesn't want the item, and if so offer him the option of formally requesting to cancel the transaction so that you can recover your fees from eBay. Suggest that if you don't hear from him within 3 days, you'll open an 'unpaid item case' with eBay and the likely outcome is that he will get an unpaid item strike against him - you will also get your eBay fees back but obviously it will take longer though.
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